There’s no doubt about it; awkward silences and pregnant pauses can ruin a date. And the annoying part is it may not necessarily mean that you’re not into the other person!

For example, maybe you (or your date) are just a tad nervous and because of that you stumble over what to say. Now, the other person doesn’t realize your anxiety and mistake the awkward silences as “he/she is not in to me” and there goes not only your date but any possible future ones!

So, what do you do to ensure that the conversation flows?

Dating Conversation 101

Talk about the things that make your date.

If you’re a bit tongue tied and can’t think of a topic, simply talk about your date itself. For instance, if you’re on a dinner date, talk about the food then talk about the place where you’re eating. Here’s a tip: see if you can find out something about the restaurant or café where you are having your date and make it a conversation piece. (e.g., did you know that this restaurant was built by a couple in the 1900s?)

If you went out to watch a movie, all the better; you can talk about the movie. Discuss the plot, the actors, reviews you saw online, etc.

Jokes… should you or shouldn’t you?

This is a tricky one. When you’re on a date, it can be humiliating to start it with a knock-knock joke that falls flat. So to inject humor, try not to make a joke but instead find humor in the things around you or about situations that occur during the date.

This way, it doesn’t look like you memorized 12 jokes for the date and you don’t run the risk of falling flat on your face. It also makes things more spontaneous if you can just joke about things that occur during the date.

Was that an awkward silence or a reflective pause?

You know, not every type of pause is bad during a date. You don’t need to rattle off a ton of words per minute and jump from one topic to the other just to ensure that conversation flows during your date. For example, if your date becomes quiet after discussing recent (bad) news on TV, don’t take this as an awkward silence you desperately need to break.

Communicate, don’t just talk about yourself.

Make it a point to ask your date what he/she thinks of something, or talk more about himself/herself. Going on and on about yourself all night is a sure-fire way to make this your first – and last – date.

Last but not the least, don’t force it.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, there’s just nothing to work on. So, if after a few awkward silences you realize that it’s because you’re both not into each other, end the date as casually and politely as it had begun.

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Filed under: Dating

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